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TafferWatch
TafferWatch
By Melissa Macunado

* * * Author’s note * * *

Forgy and Nehema de la Nova come from sweet CSupernova’s world of art, I’m sure I screwed them up, sorry, I’m not Hemy. Anyway, I sincerely apologize to it. Her pictures were my biggest inspiration, especially “LEETA’S WAY”, if I spell it right, and Trouty-related series. If it wasn’t for her, Jerry Jerkins’ show wouldn’t exist due to my lack of TV skills. Those of you who are into the world of cassettes, tapes and remote controls, you probably got the meaning of Jerry Springer and other irritating-themed productions, I hope I got the character right. If not… Well, to be honest, I don’t care so much. As you see, if it wasn’t for Hemy, this work wouldn’t see the daylight (she is to blame). This horrid piece of worship among many masochists is dedicated to her, as well as to A. A., M. J. M., K. Ł. and S. S. I’d like to thank my great friend, Eliza Lieben, for being here and listening to my mourning about this text. The same thing goes to CSupernova and Haunt-plz.

If you want to contact me to express your sorrow about reading this, please use my e-mail (melissa.macunado@mailplus.pl). No, I do not know where the nearby Hammerite or Mechanist station is. I suggest trying Google Maps, they’re so proud of it.
Melissa Macunado is my personal character, as well as her fair-haired friend (mentioned in the text; I wonder if you know who I’m talking about?) from “It has been Written” and the upcoming sequel, “The Cook Book”. Please do not use them without permission or I’ll hunt you down.

This work contains Through The Looking Glass Studio’s and Eidos Montreal’s concepts and spoilers of Thief series. Both were used without permission. I do not take responsibility for any physical or mental damage this story will do you. You have been warned.

Yours sincerely,
Melissa Macunado (the bigger one!)

* * *

It all happened on a usual night in the City. The townsfolk kept doing their usual activities, rival fractions participated in numerous carnages, nobles and rogues were constantly assassinating each other… Nothing out of routine. Outside, first snowflakes fell on old, ramshackle buildings along the streets. Garrett was sitting in his tenement, with a small tome of Espinosa in his hand, reading. Suddenly, he heard a silent knock on the door. He knew only two people who were able to produce it. And one of them was apparently far away. On the other hand, the one left would not wait forever, so he slowly stood up, came to the door and listened. – What? – he opened the door a little, so he was able to see the newcomer. To his surprise, there wasn’t anyone except for a huge crate. Oh, pardon. There were two pale hands attached to it. And a pair of feet below it. The crate answered in a female voice: - Let me in and I’ll explain this.
- I hope so – he murmured to himself, allowing his strange guest to step inside the room. The crate started to lower until it reached the floor. Beside it, Garrett saw a dark-hooded person with a familiar robe. – Take it down – he ordered. – The landlord started to heat the rooms and it’s boiling hot in here.
The person did what he said and the hood went down, revealing a pale face with big, blue eyes of a young woman. Her fair blonde hair hung down around the face, creating short, but extremely covering curtain with a fringe on her forehead. She was dressed in plain taffer manner, what made her look somewhat tomboy. She took a look on the shelves stacked with books and gave him a smile. – Espinosa, isn’t it? You always read it when you need to calm down. What’s the matter?
- Melissa, I suppose you should answer me first. What do you have here? Is it a burrick inside of some sort? – he said with a wry grin, pointing to the crate. The Keeper sighed. – Well, it’s rather a business matter… Maybe you should sit down first. You won’t like it, I bet.

After they sat down around the table, Melissa coughed a bit and started to talk: - The last action of the Order took place in an abandoned Mechanist complex, which was converted to a warehouse and exclusive apartments on higher floors. Some nobles bought them and everything seemed to calm down. But we weren’t right. For several weeks or so, we have been hearing that something is going on there. In fact, the warehouse, which should serve as community area…
- A community area? For what?
– Oh, for example, for organizing balls and such… Nobles like this, right? By the way, our agents observed that they invented an interesting game, in which the goal is to hit an opponent with a bullet taking form of a small ball filled with colorful paint. It’s called paint-ball, not the most creative name, if you ask me… But the building turned to be a factory instead. And all former Mechanists who survived Soulforge and carnages after it, work there upon some very strange machines…
- Could you explain it more deeply? – Garrett seemed interested. Finally. Melissa took a deep breath and proceeded: - Our last mission’s goal was to infiltrate the factory, find out what do they do here and get away with some samples. And… - she made an effective pause – this box contains what we’ve found.

She stood up from the stool and went near the crate. Pointing at it, she said: - We found out it was the last Karras’ project, apart from the spectacular “purification” of the surroundings. It’s a special engine to watch motion pictures…
- So it’s exactly what Ankh-Morporkians invented in Holy Wood. Well, I thought Mechs would be at least a little bit more creative – Garrett muttered. The Keeper shook her head with passion. – No, it’s something entirely different! I’m not sure if it isn’t even worse than their motion pictures… The project’s called TV, which stands for Thy-Vision. This machinery allows you to watch Do-View-Damnation every time you want
- “Do-View-Damnation”? What’s that?!
- Oh, the first tapes were recorded at executions… - she said faintly.
- No way! The world is crazy, no doubt.
- For which purpose I’d trick you? Listen, Garrett. DVD – it’s another abbreviation – takes form of a black box in a size of an average book. It contains some white tape, on which the pictures are recorded. They have everything: movement, sound, color. And now, when Karras is finally gone with the wind, they don’t have, err, enough victims, so today they tape everything, fortunately except for public executions. I brought one of their DVDs with me, I’d like to kindly ask you a question… - she made a shy look. - Could you be so kind and, err, keep an eye on the whole machine for some time please?

He seized her with a gloomy look. – Why do you all want to make a perfect mess out of my life? – he asked her mockingly. – Today it’s keeping this damn machinery at my place, tomorrow it would be a luxurious hotel for your pets! Do you really have such terrible problems with accommodation at the Compound that you have to book warehouses outside?!
- Look, we do have enough space, but Thy-Vision has an eerie influence on our Acolytes – she said sadly. - To be honest, on some of the Keeper Elders, too – she murmured to herself. – They just sit in front of it and watch and watch and watch, all day round! They have their duties, don’t they? So please make an effort not to get angry and let me leave it here for a week or two, at least until we find a better place to hide it, it would be safe here.
He gave her an angry look: - So why did you choose me?! I suppose I have the lowest prices on lodging Keepers addicted to this box, am I right?
– First Keeper Magar and the Keeper Council suppose you’re… somewhat… resistant to it – she exclaimed slowly.
– Wonder why.
– Ohhh, could you just shut up for a while?! – she cried. Garrett made an offended face, but nodded. – Great – she said sarcastically. – So maybe I can show this engine before you decide to throw me out?
– Go for it – the answer was short.
- Wonderful! – she gave him a triumphant smile. – So let’s unwrap it – she ordered him. Garrett, muttering something really offending to the Keepers and the world as a whole, raised himself up and opened the crate. Inside, there was a huge, rectangular shaped thing with lots of buttons and lights, some switches and a glass-looking screen. There was also a smaller box made of paper, which he handled over to Melissa. She opened it and took a look at a black, rectangular shaped cassette with some white circles on it and a strange, scepter-like thing with several buttons.
– They call it “remote control” – she answered of an unexpressed question of her friend. – And here – her pale hand ducked into her pocket – we are: that’s Thy-Vision guide. It helps you to decide which part of the DVD you want to watch – she told him, waving a crumpled piece of paper decorated with an elegant, spidery handwriting. Garrett glanced at her and moved his eyes down the page. – “08:45 – ‘Transmission of Hammerite parade at St. Edgar's’”. Nothing special, if you want to see some zealots, you just have to go out and stare up. “10:15 – ‘Cook like a Pagan: how to make a feast out of creepy crawlies’” – yuk, why do they film it, I wonder? “11:00 – ‘Discussion corner: Are combots dangerous? The interview with Father Karras’”. Ha. If those guys who recorded it have seen at least one of them they know for sure they are. Why do they make a programme about it?
– Maybe for science purposes – she bleated.
– Humbug. “13:15 – ‘TafferTV: Terror in Old Quarter, zombie rampage!’”. Oh, that’s something interesting – he gave her a short grin. – And again bunch of boredom: “14:00 – ‘Hammer lectures by Father Debole’”. By the way, I finally realized why their “master Builder” named himself after a common workman! – he announced with a triumphant smile, something quite unusual for him. Melissa seemed stunned. – Why? I think because he built his religion out of nothing, he started from scratch.
- Oh, you naive! – he tittered. – You do really know what resides inside thirteen department of the Upper Library?
- Of course, everybody knows it’s biography section – she admitted, quite surprised. Garrett tittered again. – You’re right. There’s also his biography stacked there as well. And what do we know from it?
– Go ahead.
– There’s nobody who would be able to establish his own gang of religious zealots bearing a name BOB after his parents’ vengeance for uncommitted sins of the newborn – he seemed fully satisfied with her as she blushed. – Bob the Builder… - she mumbled to herself faintly. – Let’s move on. “15:00 – ‘Do It Yourself: Mechanist slave - original project by Father Karras!’” – hey, are you sure they still have the patent?
– I don’t think so – she said with tiredness. - Just let me show you how it works and I’ll leave you alone with your sweet Espinosa.
- Okay, let’s switch this damn engine on and see it working – he ordered. The Keeper took a seat on the floor beside him, inserted the DVD into a slot situated in the lower part of the box and pressed the biggest button of the remote control. The box started to shiver, buzz and make other various, surely very interesting sounds. After a second or two, the screen flashed with dozens of colors and Garrett saw a brown-haired woman in a Mechanist suit. She smiled and said: - Good day to thee, dear subscriber. Be blessed by the Builder’s hand and have a nice time watching the only original Thy-Vision in the name of the Builder!

Then everything went black.

– Why is it dark now and who was that?
– Take your time, it will turn to color again after a while. It’s Nehema de la Nova, the main engineer.
– How did you meet her?
– Well, to be honest, I sneaked into her room to take a look on her sketches regarding Thy-Vision. And her name was mentioned during the dinner in their refectory.
- What were you doing there, I wonder? – he grinned. She sighed and exclaimed: - I was making my way through the ventilation system. She’s beautiful, isn’t she?
– I’m not in the topic, sorry. Lucky I.
– Understand me, I was creeping on a beam high up above the table, so I could watch them. First of all, I thought I may be able to hear some useful information regarding the project, but they all talked only about TV programme and the meal! It’s unbelievable! All those engineers and workmen, sitting around her like they’re hypnotized. “Dear sister, would you like me to pass you salt?” “Dear sister, could you be so kind to your brother and let me show you my machinery?” “Please taste this wonderful cake, it smells like the Builder himself baked it”… It’s just… strange – she made a worried face.

"Let me show you my machinery". Alright, fairly ambiguous.

Garrett sighed. – You are sad, aren’t you? Because some women are in the middle of men’s crazy and irritating attention and you are thought about “just” like a great companion?
– What are you talking about? – she raised her voice a bit. Garrett was looking at her intensely. – Men like you, because you’re kind, intelligent and witty. They have lots of topics to share with you. You’re smart and know how to listen to people. Also, you’re unselfish. You never think about yourself and that makes people like you. But you’re not feminine, and she is.
– What do you mean by this? – she gave him an unfriendly look.
– Look. Do your fellow Keepers talk to you?
- Yes, they do.
- Mainly males or females?
- The former ones, I just do not get along with the others very well… And men often have more serious topics to share your thoughts about, not just gossiping. I enjoy discussing books and inventions… It helps to improve yourself.
– You see? – he made a triumphant face. – They just don’t think about you like a girl. They don’t treat you like a woman. Probably, if a guy insults this Mechanist, she’ll start to cry. If a guy insults you, I bet you’ll hit him or tell him something very smart and very cynical and sarcastic, which will make him think about what have you said until he realizes he lost the confrontation. And, after it, he will respect you.
– Unbelievable.
– Well, it is. But I’m right. Men treat you like a companion or a sister. They have fun with you, but they get crazy about dolls, princesses. It’s one of the most stupid things in the Universe, but it’s true.

Melissa folded her arms against her chest. – I wonder how I manage not to hate you? Garrett smiled. – Don’t take it personally. It’s not bad. To be honest, men want to maintain friendship with you, not with her. She may be nice for them, but she’s just too pretty to be a friend. Friendship causes pain and sometimes you need to mess up with someone and a real friend is ideal for this purpose. A girlfriend won’t do. Men make pretty eyes to shallow beauties, but they enjoy talking to you. Look at you: she wears gold, jewellery and satin. You wear taffer clothes, dark silk and leather, long robes, a tunic with long, tight sleeves, pants and hood. Add to it boots able to break limbs and your blackjack. You’re totally tomboy! And an average girl of your age wears long, colorful and very kitsch dresses, pink, blue or green, has long hair and likes jewellery. They like flowers, you never pick them due to your ecological behavior. They date with some poor idiots, you go out with them to a pub. The only difference is you do not drink alcohol due to your permanent abstinence – he made a brilliant speech. The Keeper raised her brow with a face: - I truly should throw you to the river and make sure you can’t swim.
– At your service.
She wanted to respond him, but the screen flashed with colors again. Garrett put his arms around his legs and murmured: - The show is on, isn’t it?
- Yes, it is.
– What’s first on your list? – he asked her.
– Okay, let’s take a look… - she scrolled down the piece of paper, pardon, Thy-Vision guide. – First of all, on this DVD there’s a record of Hammer parade at St. Edgar’s. – Boring. – You didn’t even see a piece of it! – she stated. Garrett snapped, looking ruffled: - Okay, okay. I can waste my time. Feel free.

Without a word she pressed one of the buttons and the screen started to show a familiar façade of Saint Edgar’s Cathedral. There were crowds of people standing around it and in front of it, dozens of fully armored Hammerites were marching to and there. Some of them carried ritual wands and some did not. On the right side of the screen, a couple of men in familiar blue suits, drunken as always, were trying to form an orchestra. Garrett realized they were members of the City Watch.
– Well, I thought it would be boring, but it’s just… cute. Look at this guy with a saxophone… Isn’t it Benny? He’s looking like having big problems with it.
- It’s not funny.
- Yes, it is. Understand me, it shows wonderfully how the Watch thinks. The best you can do to stand… well… on the right side! – he started to laugh. – Now move forward, please. It is quite the same and I hate saxophone.
- As you wish – she pressed another button and the view started to move very rapidly. – Well, the next record is called “Cook like a Pagan: How to make feast out of creepy crawlies”. Awful!
- Well, it may be, but it’s also very interesting. Just a second, please.

Now, the screen was showing a smiling Pagan with fallen leaves in his hair. – Greetsie, manfools. I callsie Mayflower, I bes a humble and devoted servant of the Lady of the Greens. I wantsie to show you some food Father Trickster gives us! Firstly, has a look at those juicy, sweetie mealworms!

- Switch it off! – Melissa ordered, wincing of disgust. Garrett tried to look innocent. – Why? It’s a part of our cultural heritage, isn’t it?
- NO, IT ISN’T! I SAID SWITCH IT OFF!!!
- As you wish, ma’am – he snapped. He pressed the button and poor Mayflower started to disappear, along with his “juicy mealworms” finely wrapped in some cabbage leaves. Then another view appeared, showing Karras and another man with a pen in his hand. Mechanist leader held a small combot on a leash. – Stop, it’s that. “Discussion corner: Are combots dangerous? The interview with Father Karras” – Melissa warned Garrett. – An archival material?
- Probably.

The man with a pen started the conversation: - Welcome to “TafferTV discussion corner”. Today we are going to talk about combots. I have a guest in our studio, say hello to Father Karras, a Mechanist leader and inventor of the mentioned machines. Dear Father, your combots are making a pretty penny, isn’t it?
Karras presented himself with a proud smile across his somewhat dumb face. – Well, dear reporter, the main purpose is to serve the Builder, not to make money. But yes, it is very profitable, yet it is just a way to make the world a better place.
- How do you understand that, Father?
- Oh, it’s plain. If it wasn’t for money and combots themselves, how would you incarcerate and annihilate various sinners? Thieves, harlots, charitable writers, heretics, hippies and most of all, the ECOLOGISTS! – he cried with passion. The reporter remained stony. – Okay, Father. It is all true, but, err, stupid thing, some people suspect they can also be a bit… dangerous?...
- Oh, no, dear reporter – Karras exclaimed. – Do not listen to gossips as it is considered a minor sin. Combots do not do any harm to the righteous one. They are dangerous for our enemies only!
- Oh, well… I think I understand you now, Father – he stated. – So, I suppose our doubts were dissipated now. Thank you, Father! And for our viewers, if you have any enemies, if neighbour’s cat makes you mad or you just want to have such a shiny thingy in your household, feel free to ask our consultants in the nearby Mechanist station!

Then the programme ended.

After a moment of silence, Garrett whispered with joy: - Wow, THAT was pretty interesting. Move forward. I want to watch the news about so-called “zombie rampage”.
- You are crazy, aren’t you?
- Maybe a bit indeed, but it’s just my adaptation to the world I live in. Blame Mother Evolution and Darwin, not me – he exclaimed with serenity. Melissa laughed a bit and pressed the button, so the screen changed its appearance again. Now it was showing Old Quarter’s landscape. There was no reporter around. Instead, hordes of zombies, apparitions and skeletons were running in circles, often accompanying themselves with unearth growls and groans. There was a big mess inside. Melissa put her fingers into her ears and cried: - Switch it off!

Instead of that, Garrett cried in order to answer her: - What do you want from me?! I can’t hear you! The massacre is too noisy, you know!!!

The Keeper pulled the remote control out of his hand and pressed to button to move forward. Her friend answered with a cry of anger, but she proceeded angrily. Soon the screen started to show an elderly Hammerite sitting on a bench, with a big, dusty book in his hands. – Be blessed by the Builder, dear viewers – he said. – Welcome to “Hammerite lectures by Father Debole”, when we search for our way to the Builder’s Paradise. For today, I prepared something special – the Fifth Book of the Wrath, verse VII. This scripture is attributed to the Builder himself, so sit down and let the angels speak to thee by my humble mouth!

On the other side of the screen, Melissa and Garrett exchanged surprised stares. Debole started to read: - “And the night woman said,
‘Give of yourself unto me,
tell none and you shall yet receive those blessings which are yours.’

And so the errant Hammer did lay with her
and told not his brothers,
and told not his acolytes,
and told not his superiors.

Yet the night woman did brag
and swing her arrogance like a club
to tell others of her grand catch:
a Hammer, who did lay aside his vows.

And for her arrogance and his folly,
a mob did strike them down,
righteous and commanding!
And the Builder was pleased!”

He looked quite overjoyed, while Melissa and Garrett – rather disgusted. The Hammerite ended: - That’s the lesson for us today: even the humble townsfolk can preach the monk, if he commits a deadly sin, so look around! Maybe there are some sinners around you! If yes, aid us in our raid to help them purify themselves, so the Builder will be pleased!

- “And the Builder was pleased”. Yeah – Garrett snapped. – Please, move forward or we’ll get sick by this moron here. But this explains that every culture has some “dirty dancing” stuff. What’s next?
- Wait a second… - the Keeper scrolled down the Thy-Vision guide. – “Do It Yourself: Mechanist slave - original project by Father Karras!" – oh, no, no, no, let’s move a bit…

The screen flashed with bright colors. Lots of hearts and flowers appeared around the big letters forming a phrase: “THE HOTTIEST ONES OF THE CITY”. – Nooo… - Melissa and Garrett cried at the same time, but the programme was going on. Another sign appeared, forming the words: "The hottiest ones of the City: Marla Madison talks about shadow-hiding hunks!". Garrett suddenly turned pale. – Holy crap.
- What?
- Have you read it? How did they get Marla into? Everybody in the City knows she’s crazy!
Melissa laughed out loudly. – I have no idea, but it can be pretty interesting.
- Damn, no, I don’t want to watch her! – he cried. – But I do, lad – she stated. The screen was now featuring a sweet-faced young woman, only a couple of years older than the Keeper, with a peach-colored arm-length hair and grey, surprised-looking eyes. She was dressed in dark dress and a fake gold necklace. – Hello, dears! Today we’re going to talk about the hottiest ones of the City. We have pretty many good-looking men over there, some of them are true hunks, I tell you, girls! But “the most interesting is hidden from the eyes” – she giggled. Garrett was trying not to watch, trembling with fear what will happen next. – If you want to be in the middle of the cutest male interest, find yourself a loving thief or an officer! Also, the former one can afford nice presents. Let’s talk about our numerous and famous shadow-hiding hunks!

- Damn it, Melissa, SWITCH IT OFF!!! – he cried. The Keeper sat unimpressed by his outburst. – No, I wanna watch this till the very end, it’s going to be very… educational… especially for a tomboy like me… - she told him between different strokes of laughter. – Damn it! – he growled and fiercely took the control over the remote control, then changed the programme. A colorful sign run across the screen, stating: "TafferTV: Break-in time, interview with Sheriff Truart regarding bold theft in Wieldstrom Museum of Fine Arts". The reporter appeared again, now accompanied by Gorman Truart. The sheriff seemed to be full of doubts, but the reporter started to talk: - Hello, everybody, it’s TafferTV main news! Today our guest is our well-known, hard-working sheriff Gorman Truart. We will talk about the recent bold theft in Wieldstrom Museum of Fine Arts in Audale.

- Nothing interesting – Garrett stated. Melissa gave him a kick. – Of course not, if you have had been, well, in the middle of a crime scene – she laughed. – Yup. Can I speed it up?
- Sure.
- Okay… “7:45 – ‘Mythbusters: Are The Keepers Real?’”. Of course they are, they really make your life awful. I do not know anything artificial which would be able to be such a pain in the neck – he said. The Keeper sighed and gave him a tired stare, but made no response. – “18:30 – ‘Keeping in touch with Nature: Pagan trends in gardening’” – not interested in, not to mention I do not have a garden. Hey, look! There’s something for Greg: “19:00 – ‘TafferTV for children: a fairytale with the Hag’”! – he exclaimed happily. She didn’t response, but smiled serenely. In that case, he looked again. “20:15 – ‘TafferTV: Lots of work for locksmiths: how to survive Garrett's era and make profit of that’”.
- Wow, they made a show about you. Interested? – she asked him sarcastically.
- Not really. I work on the other side, thank you. Wait a minute, what’s THAT?! Damn it, look here: “21:00 – ‘Jerry Jerkins' Talk-Show: Truart on a leash’”. Let’s see what poor Trouty has to say – Garrett grinned cynically. He pressed the button and Thy-Vision’s screen filled with colors. There was a trumpet-like sound and some clapping. Then a big round room appeared. In the middle of it, there was a long sofa with Truart and another man sitting on it. Around them, some people gathered on smaller chairs – they were the ones who were making the clapping sound. The man was short, bald and definitely obese, but he looked very lively. – Welcome, welcome to the best talk-show ever, my name’s Jerry Jerkins and I wanna ask our beloved sheriff some questions. Applause for sheriff Truart, please!

When clapping calmed down, Jerkins smiled and started to ask Truart questions: - We all know you’re a very popular man. You have friends in high places, loyal employees ready to die for you and for our City and lots of fangirls here and there.
Truart began to look a bit confused. – Well, I strongly believe in justice and street right of violence – he exclaimed.
- And I believe in maths and that you’re a jerk – Garrett whispered in soft, mocking voice, making the Keeper laugh. Jerkins said: - Yes, of course, but have you ever been a good boy? You're not an angel, are you?
- What?!
- I mean there are rumors of your mental problems.
- Eeerr, I do not know what you are talkin’ about, Jerry – Truart started to sweat. Jerkins smiled. – Your doctor treats you for ferretphobia, isn’t it?
The sheriff blushed. – Who told you that? That are only temporary problems, I attend moral support classes and so on…
- So you confess to having a relationship with a very unique ferret called Forgy de la Nova?
- Oh, YES! Yes, I love him, you caught me! – Gorman gave a loud cry. The public was overjoyed. – You can’t understand us – he said dramatically. Garrett and Melissa were wincing of laughter on the floor, when he proceeded: - I always wanted to have a kitten, but my parents’ didn’t let me to, so when I met Forgy at a Mechanist meeting, I fell in love with him! I love his warm fur and those tiny round eyes! I enjoy our walks on a leash despite I have to sweep his poo when he finishes, the fines are horrible. But Forgy is definitely worth it!!!
- Okay, Gorman, that’s just great. And what about your nighttime escapades to local houses of ill repute? – Jerry insisted. Truart blushed again and began to talk rapidly. – I dunno what you’re talkin’ about. We of the City Watch do recruit everyone eager and we give our lectures about fines for loud noises after 22 p. m. everywhere and so on, but nothing out of duties, our typical daily routine… Not to mention, who will prove anything against me?!
- Maybe madame Volari?
The audience cried with pleasure. Truart got really mad and it was interesting to watch as he changed colors from pink to pale and then crimson red. – Oh, shit, what a bitch… I meant, I don’t know her at all, at all, you dirty burrick!

- I think we can stop it here as it comes to blows – Melissa pressed the button. They saw the sheriff moving fast to hit the talk-show presenter, who tried to run, but fell off the sofa. The audience started to throw various vegetables at them. Then everything went black.

Melissa and Garrett breathed fast. – What the hell was that? – Garrett asked rhetorically.
- I do not even want to wonder, trust me. I think we’re coming to an end… What’s next?
- “22:00 – ‘TafferTV: Repetition of the main news’”. Oh, no. I don’t want to see poor Trouty making a fool of himself again.
- Neither do I… - Melissa mumbled. – And what’s next?
- “23:00 – ‘Only for adults: the Pervy Watch - all stars included!’” – please, do not force me to watch this! I have enough and now I trust you it’s a devilish machine – Garrett made a pleading stare. – Of course not, but how did it get into? – Melissa pondered. – I asked Keeper Colin to remove it from the tape.
- Maybe Colin should wash his head under a cold waterfall? – Garrett suggested. She raised her brow, but didn’t have the time to answer him, as the screen suddenly filled in with feéria of golden gears. Nehema appeared again, now wielding a huge Mechanist mace. – Remember we shall teach thee the error of not paying the subscription in the name of the Builder, salamander!!!

Melissa screamed, staggered by the noise. Some of the smaller parts of Garrett’s collection of books fell down from the shelves. - Switch it off that damn machine once and for all! – he yelled before he took control of the remote control and the glass screen of Thy-Vision turned black. – Thank you – she said after she raised herself from the floor.
– No problem – he answered simply, helping her to stand up. – Do you know what I think about it?
- I am curious if it’s exactly what I thought about it? – the Keeper gave him a shy smile.
- The Mechanists were, are and will be crazy.

Before she could answer, he reached Thy-Vision, the Do-View-Damnation cassette and its remote control and throw it all into the crate. – What are you doing? – Melissa asked him. – I’m packing this damn stuff out – he answered sharply. – But why? I thought you agreed to have it here for a while!
- Yes, you can keep it here, but I’m packing myself because I’m leaving now. It was a pleasure to get in touch with you before that.
- But where are you going? What should I say to the Keeper Council? – she asked him, very confused. Garrett gave her a wink of his green eyes. – Tell them I’m gone, the usual stuff. They won’t notice the difference. At this time – he glanced at a small, old-fashioned clock of the shelf – they are watching “TafferTV for children”, I suppose. I’m not sure if it isn’t too complicated for them, but they like to educate themselves, don’t they?
- But where are you going?! – she cried in surprise. He giggled a bit and placed himself on the windowsill. Melissa stared at him, with his elegant figure leaning against snow. – It’s easy, Melissa. “Somewhere THEY can’t find me”.
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